Surprised by Loss

"...And here am I , budding among the ruins with only sorrow to bite on , as if weeping were a seed and I  the earth's  only furrow . " 

~Pablo Neruda , "Lifeless Suburb "

Life on planet earth can be hard at times . Very , very hard . And if we live long enough we will experience some form of loss . It may be a job loss . Or perhaps the loss of a marriage through divorce . And then there is the worst form of loss that comes through death . Death of a loved beloved pet or family member or friend .And it may be the hardest of all the losses we may endure for it is so final . So permanent . Set in stone so to speak . It is a great equalizer for it comes to us all no matter our"lot"in life . 

We may be rich or we may be poor . Young or old . Tall or short . Death is a part of living . Of life .And when it comes , our natural , God given response is to weep . Or we become numb . Or we simply go through the motions of living all the while feeling like we're dying inside . And depending on how close we were to the deceased , whether pet or person , our depths of feelings of loss will vary from person to person. We will all handle it differently . There is no proper way to grieve for it is as individual as the person or people dealing with the loss .

I share these things from experience for in the last year and a half my husband Steven and I have had several losses in our family . Our cat and his Mom , brother , sister and son and my longtime friend and former roommate have all gone to be with their Savior and creator . And the loss has been palpable . Tangible . As if it were a "thing" we could reach out and grab hold of . But we cannot . For they are gone and we are still here . And we feel the loss so deeply for that is how God made us . He made us human and humans feel things very deeply at times .

And we wonder if we'll ever feel normal again . And we get angry when we have to adjust to this new normal . This normal that is so  full of holes that once were full of the life and love of our now gone loved ones . And if the losses were catastrophic we may even wonder if we're next in line . I know my husband and I dealt with those types of feelings from time to time . It's as if that grim reaper was just counting down the moments until it was our time to depart . 

And yet , in the midst of all this loss something quite surprising has made it's presence known . And it's presence has changed everything . It's name is joy . And when it arrived it was a surprise for it was completely unexpected . But it came , with it's hope and optimism that shouted"This too shall pass. " And it showered us with a desire to live fully while still alive . To passionately and fully cast ourselves and our broken hearts upon our Savior and determine to live for Him fully and completely . And to pursue with our whole hearts that desire which He Himself has placed within us . we have stared death in the face and it's surprising result is to want to live , fully alive , so that God is glorified and we fulfill our destiny that was created by God long before we were ever born .

Blessings ~Sharon